yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
