Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just had sex on a roof
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
