I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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