Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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