She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
