i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
