So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ugly people sure do ruin things
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
