i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
