Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
