I just cut my nipple shaving
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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