For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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