You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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