yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
