Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
