I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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