4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
