i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
