How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
