these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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