Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
They took my balls.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your penis caused this!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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