my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
