help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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