Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
did you just send me my own nude
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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