Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
