at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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