You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
