You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The air was thick with penises
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
