I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
