I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
