My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
