That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
