if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
oh god the rape fog is back!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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