She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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