My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
