What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
