Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
