I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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