And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
