we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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