i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
