Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
