We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
