She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
