Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
