He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
