yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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