hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
