at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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