he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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