Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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