i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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