just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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