This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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